I can’t decide which way to identify my self this time because all of my personalities are screaming their names at me right now.

Or at least that’s what it feels like in my experience. My experience is bound to be different than anyone else’s, because it’s all about perception baby! And we all perceive things differently in our snowflake brains as individual as our fingerprints… very similar, but each one a little different.

Ah. Fuck! There’s my hippy “peace/love make everything better” therapist brain chiming in. And It sounds like my Anger is narrating it now, I think because I’m really fucking frustrated with how what I want is literally in palm of my hands and I just can’t seem to turn the fucking key… I’ve grown used to survival and failure… what terrifies me is what comes with success, which thoughts of that disrupt my sense of peace while still surviving and failing, and….. GOD DAMMIT I DID IT AGAIN!

This is my life anymore…. Everything, literally everything triggers a memory that derails my writing or what I’m talking about and it drives it head fucking first into my feels… and yeah I could keep writing to share the absolute horrors of my life, but that shit is depressing and everyone is depressed enough because life is chronically overstimulating, at least where I live it is. I’m more of a small town living kinda gal. I don’t really need extravagant outings to enjoy life. Anyway, this is my life after a TBI, Domestic abuse, parental abuse, traumatic childbirth of a rape baby, and a whole lot of other Shit I have learned a lot of very valuable lessons from.

Maybe I’ll have better luck with the next post…